Here are excerpts from some of the regular features in each issue of KidNews Today.
Relationship Corner:
Healthy Parent-Child Boundaries
Naturally parents want a friendly relationship with their children. But grownups and kids—and even grownups and teens– are not the same. Sometimes busy, stressed parents may accidentally burden their children by treating them as if they were a friend or confidante. For example:
Complaining about a spouse
It may be tempting to commiserate with your same-sex offspring about the puzzling or annoying ways of the other parent, but you’re feeding a tendency towards disrespect that rearranges the family hierarchy, setting that parent below the two of you.Telling too much in an effort to “be honest.”
The cult of honesty demands a lot of human sacrifices. For example, kids don’t need to hear about your insights in therapy. You might decide to share that you realize you’ve been behaving thus-and-thus, and that it has been unfair/selfish, and what specific changes they can expect to see (e.g., you’ll be having dinner with the family more often or, you’ll be going to AA) without lots of details.Your love life
Married parents should not apologize for having private time or keeping children out of their bedroom in general. Single parents shouldn’t introduce dates to the children until they are pretty sure the relationship is going somewhere serious. On no account should single parents dish about casual dates with children.Your body issues.
Keep your “fat days,” displeasure with having inherited a certain feature or your trauma at aging to yourself. You’re teaching what matters (appearance) and what’s wrong with your child (your shared traits). Something to Talk About: Your friend might be very angry when caring adults approach her about not eating right and losing weight. You are still doing the right thing if you get her help. Eating disorders can cause serious physical problems, even if the person recovers and begins to gain weight. Sometimes the person’s skeleton, reproductive organs, heart or other body parts are irreparably damaged. So even if the person looks healthy again on the outside, she may have weakened bones, be unable to have children, or have other internal, permanent damage. Let someone know if your friend might have an eating disorder – it’s something to talk about! - Dr. Lori Puterbaugh
My Friend is Too Skinny!
Do you have a friend who worries a lot about being fat, even though she’s skinny? It can happen to girls or boys, but most of the time this happens to girls. Talk to a grownup if your friend: is losing weight on purpose even if she’s already slim, throwing away her lunch, making herself throw up after meals, giving away food instead of eating it; complains about being cold all the time; is tired and weak; tells you she is not getting her period anymore; gets angry if you let her know you’re worried about her weight loss.
